13 ways to belittle your pesky customers by Barclays Bank plc
I just sent this tweet:
I am seething with anger. Barclays is the most overbearing, customer hating bank i have ever dealt with since i started banking as a child at the age of 9 years old.
Customer service tips, a la Barclays:
- So you want to have a debit card issued? Call our 30p per minute 0845 number.
(This is a major FAIL – it costs some 30p – 70p a minute to call 0845 from a mobile.)
- When the call is answered, make customers who pay you to safekeep their money listen to long (and mostly irrelevant) messages for 90 seconds before any progress is made.
- Try to ensure the recorded message treats them like very stupid children.
- Before you connect a customer to anyone who can help, ask customers to enter the longest piece of data they have – the LONG number across your credit / debit card to a speaking machine.
- When putting customers through to a human beings – hire them from Orange customer service teams so they are already pretrained to delight in being unhelpful, and sadistic in pushing the limit of excruciating data that you need before customers are put through to the next queue.
- Ask the customer to repeat all the data they have already entered. Be sure to use a tone of voice that helps them to remember their place.
- At this point, remember that the customers are wasting our time by asking us for information. They must jump through hoops to earn it! Hopefully we can educate them all not to call by making an example of those that do call!
- Ask them to list from memory the standing order data that appeared on the last statement they looked at. If they cannot provide this exactly, do not proceed with the call.
- Ask your staff to say things like “Only i can put you through”.
(Note to Barclays. Listen to the conversation to hear it for yourself!)
- When a customer is telling you that they are in a public place and so cannot reveal their Mother’s maiden name, tell them they should call back when they are in a better place to phone a bank.
- Finally, transfer the user to a number that makes them hold for over 10 minutes until they hang up in lamentable defeat.
- At this point you have successfully dealt with an inbound call and reduced the cost of having to deal with the query in a professional way.
- Repeat 10,000 times a day!
What should we do?
Now, my first thought is this: vote with my feet! close my account! move my money to someone who cares, like the Royal Bank of Scotland!
Except that i OWN Barclays! I paid my tax money to make sure it exists. So i am not only the customer, but the owner of the Bank. And yet they STILL treat me like a child.
Well here’s a childish message for Barclays: “You suck!”
Now hear this: Your customers are grown ups, treat them as such. And treat each one well.
What would you do?
Share your views below.
If you have some useful links i’ll add them into the post for other readers.